CANCER

This blog is usually about Sicily, my travels, my love, my dogs, my friends, all of the fun times I have had & things I find encouraging.

Today it is about my time spent back home walking with my family through my dad’s battle with cancer.

There is a deep understanding among those who have experienced the battle against cancer & the loved ones who have walked through it with them. Many others (how I once was) are able to care very much about causes such as Relay for Life and are able to care for patients & do all of the right things..But there is a deeper understanding that comes only from experience. Experience that brings everyone to the same raw human level. No one is above it. It brings people of every race, age & socioeconomic class to a position of humility and understanding for one another.

Daddy was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in June 2011. A small amount of cancer had spread to his brain & lower spine. He did 15 days of brain radiation & 6 rounds of chemo & was told he was cancer free in at the end of November. In February 2012, after two months of headaches, an MRI showed multiple tumors in his brain. So I headed home to Columbus. As symptoms got drastically worse in March, another MRI showed a large tumor inside & wrapped around his spinal cord. 

Through this time I often thought about what I should write. How much detail. What to blog about & what to just write in private for myself or family. How much would I want to remember about this experience? I am sharing these things because there are sweet friends & family who have wanted details through this time & because through my experience, someone else might be encouraged by my Daddy’s faith and the amazing ways that God sends His mercy into our lives. I hope these details touch someone’s heart.

Wednesday February 29^th. This was the morning after I arrived in Columbus. Because the cancer had already affected his strength and balance, Daddy had started using a cane but this morning he walked into the kitchen holding a cup of coffee, no cane, talking to me. That afternoon he went with my brother Jesse to Sams & Walmart to shop. He refused to use a ridey cart. He walked around both stores with only the cane.

I now understand the meaning of the battle or fight against cancer. If anyone has ever fought a disease, its Bob Gallimore. He fought Every. Step. Of. The. Way. He prayed for complete healing. He waited upon the Lord.

The following 2 weeks were a downhill spiral. Daddy had his first fall in the kitchen at night, alone, while using the cane. He was very opposed to using the walker & told me we should give it to Goodwill. The next day he had no choice but to use it because his balance had decreased & he couldn’t control his right leg. Then we got the wheelchair. He also told us to get that out of his sight. The next day he was using it. Same thing with the potty chair. He didn’t need it. The next day he had to use it because he could no longer get up the 3 stairs and down the hall to the bathroom.

For about a week I was getting up every night to help him when he was still trying to walk to the bathroom. One night I woke up to a gentle thud & went to check on him. I found him sitting on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. He insisted on pushing his abilities and constantly tried to do all he could. He had several more falls and many frustrating moments. He had never been weak or frail before. He was the strong one, our protector. This experience humbled him in so many ways. My family learned a new kind of patience, how to work together as a team, and how to trust God in new ways.

By the end of the 2 weeks, Daddy was completely paralyzed below his rib cage. He could not sit up without holding on to something. He was bedridden and we cared for him in every way. If you have ever cared for a sick or aging loved one, you understand that this is also a humbling experience. Thank the Lord that he was still able to use his arms at this point to pull up on the trapeze bar & help us change his clothes, etc. By this time we also had Hospice care. This organization is wonderful & I recommend that any family in our situation should turn to Hospice. Right away they got involved & put the catheter in Daddy’s bladder, helped us dress his pressure sores, and taught us better how to care for him. They encouraged us & got us the resources we needed. Daddy refused even a short visit to the Hospice House and we were blessed to be able to honor his wishes and keep him at home.

By week 3, we had come to a sort of tired, hard, normal. We had become empty of ourselves, needing God to fill us & get us through each day. We had ambulance transport for radiation treatments on Daddy’s brain & spine every day during the week. We had some complications during this week. He got a blood clot in his catheter & was in severe pain with a distended bladder. Another reason I am thankful for Hospice, the nurse came right away. He also got thrush (overgrowth of normal body fungi in the mouth & esophagus) which caused difficulty swallowing, hiccups, and pain. There were so many physical things going on with Daddy, it was hard to know if changes & symptoms were related to the cancer, his cardiac problems, the radiation, or the medications.

I also turned 23 during this 3^rd week in March. My birthday turned out to be quite a hard day with Daddy’s complications, but there is still nowhere else I would have wanted to be. My mama, mom-in-law, & some sweet friends helped to make my birthday special in the midst of this difficult circumstance.

Week 4 & 5, same tired, hard, normal. How could daddy be doing this well on the outside with all of these physical problems going on inside? His thinking was clear and he continued to joke around and make us laugh. We have some funny memories to cherish. God is good. I also found I was pregnant! This brought a light into our lives and I’m so thankful I got to share the news of this blessing with my dad. He said I was making him GRAND.

Week 6 & 1/2, daddy had a few days where he was still himself. Then he developed fever/chills & slept for about 12 hours. After the fever broke at 4am, he woke up asking for coffee! Although he was still asking for his normal things, after that day nothing was the same. He began to be more disoriented and started to sleep more. Talking became more difficult, words were often slurred, and he had a hard time using the right words for things. It became very difficult to give him meds by mouth & he was drinking only sips. During his sleep he did things such as reaching out and up, and reaching for his head as if he had a headache. One evening his sleep got deeper & he began breathing with a very mucousy sound (referred to as the “death rattle”). His oxygen saturation dropped from 98% to 71%. This is when he became unresponsive. After our reading and research, we knew to expect that the end was very soon. But if you know Bob Gallimore, you know that he had to push the limit one more time. His O2 saturation went back up to about 97% (we left his oxygen on to help him remain peaceful) and he remained in a coma. Even with a racing heartbeat and without food or water, Daddy continued to hold on for 5 more days.  

Rob arrived from Sicily while Daddy was in the coma, and Daddy opened one eye and looked at Rob when he heard his voice. We know that Daddy knew Rob was here. I had recorded our baby’s heartbeat on my phone & held it to Daddy’s ear. God was so gracious to give us those moments together. Right before midnight on Friday, April 13^th, Daddy died very peacefully and quietly. 

During this time, we had so much to be thankful for. Our church family at Beallwood Baptist was faithful to call, visit, and bring food & anything we needed. We grew closer to my sweet husband’s family too. They helped to keep us well fed & encouraged. Many other friends and family were involved, caring, and helpful. The staffs at John B. Amos & Columbus Hospice were wonderful.… everyone we met along the way was loving and encouraging.

Daddy’s Celebration of Life Service at Beallwood was wonderful & honored him. Brother Billy’s words were encouraging & he described how Daddy’s life was a light for Christ. We know we will see him again one day.

"For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

From Allen Levi’s blog (Describing words from a friend’s letter):

She suggested that caring for a terminally ill person is much like a childbirth, “grossly messy, uncomfortable, and extremely painful.” But more significantly, she opined that the task affords those like us the privilege of birthing our loved ones into heaven. It takes considerable effort to keep that perspective in mind but I’m convinced that “death as birth canal” is a redemptive and accurate way to view end of life for a follower of Christ. Caregivers (a category which will probably describe all of us as some point in life) serve as midwives to make the delivery, from life here to life There, as comfortable, joyful, even as welcome as it can possibly be.